I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
