Ambien. No doubt about it.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
