just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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