Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
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