Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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