Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
