Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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