i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
