We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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