can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
