dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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