Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she woke up with a sticky ear
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
