i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
