Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
