she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
