using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
