So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
