Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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