I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
