Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
