I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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