The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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