I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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