just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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