Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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