ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
