We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
