ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking