Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
come find me please
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.