it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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