Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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