Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
