he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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