A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
and she was petting her beer can
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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