I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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