AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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