Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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