yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
