Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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