i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
