I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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