dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
