I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
In America we eat man semen.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
