Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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