I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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