She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I need water and some morals
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
