But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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