I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize