eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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