So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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