so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
