My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
