Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
