Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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