I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
