They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
