I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
