angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
