is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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