How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
