gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
