so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
