is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
