spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
