she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize