chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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