Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize