If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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