you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
