well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
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