I think i peed on brittanys purse
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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