i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
