So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
