Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
